i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you had me at cake vodka
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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