I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
