note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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