I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she told me i tasted like america
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
