You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
