your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
