Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
PANTIES FOUND
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