did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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