i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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