I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
