Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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