she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
