Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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