i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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