What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
