If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
