Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
