i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize