Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
