he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
