He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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