How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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