Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
