Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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