At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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