Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
