and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
