I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
