There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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