im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize