chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
