i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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