This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
