There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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