I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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