so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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