You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
