hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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