Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
