belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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