So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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