I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
