I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize