We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
