and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize