community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
