I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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