my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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