I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
