everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
