is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
