It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize