i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
