Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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