Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
