He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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