I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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