So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sorry about my life...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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