on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
