I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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