I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
