I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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