nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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