What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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