Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
