my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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