My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i drank out of a bidet.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
