sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
