mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Boobs are out for the taking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
