Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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