I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So vagazzling was a success
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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